Tonteria | Chelsea Nightclub
There’s a holy grail of fun.
It involves meeting your friends in a bar, enjoying a spot of Mexican tapas and a few post-dinner tequilas – delivered to your table by a toy train, obviously – before proceeding to share a cocktails out of a ceramic donkey piñata at almost exactly the same time that you realise – despite having not moved venue once – you’re now sitting in a nightclub and limbering up for your first dance-off.
All of this and more awaits you at Tonteria,
one of Sloane Square’s best subterranean Mexican-themed playground. It’s here that you can tuck into sharing platters of padron peppers, crayfish ceviche and steak tacos, or the Mexican Mud Bath – a trio of frozen margaritas served with mini churros, strawberries and a pool of melted dark chocolate.
If you prefer your tequila sans, well, anything else, you can take your pick from their 46-strong collection. Or, you can plump for their Mayan Pyramid, which feeds 8-10 with a rambunctious concoction of raspberry, lime, grapefruit, and three types of tequila. From a giant Mayan pyramid.
To describe this place as “cavernous” would, frankly, be a lie… because it’s actually pretty small. But it feels small in a friendly, intimate and “bijou” way, as opposed to a “Central Line at 8am” way.
Though naturally the extent to which that remains true – and the extent to which you’ll be able to win your dance-offs with a Moonwalk instead of an impression of Michael Flatley in Riverdance – is going to depend on how well Tonteria’s bouncers can keep a lot of people out on the street, and the hell away from you and your friends.
Which could be a pretty tough job.
NOTE: Tonteria is open Mon, Thurs, Fri & Sat from 8pm-2.30am (3am Fri & Sat). Worry about the dance moves later. Step 1’s getting in… email@example.com
Tonteria | 7-12 Sloane Square, SW1W 8EG
Enjoy quirky drinking dens? Check out our guide to unusual bars in London