Yes, Valentine’s Day is coming.
And whether you want to stay at home and have a nice relaxed, laid-back panic attack as you realise you didn’t plan anything, or go out on the town…
…you’ll need this guide.
Toast marshmallows and drink foraged cocktails at The Midnight Apothecary
Aaand listen to live music in the candelit garden.
Details: 10th Feb, from 6.30pm | Brunel Museum, Railway Avenue, SE16 4LF | From £8
Have dinner in a flower covered igloo
Make sure that little wooden bird doesn’t swan off with your drinks.
Go to Nightjar. Dress up smoother than the live jazz.
Cocktails are cheaper than usual, too. But obviously, you’re going for the jazz.
Details: 14th Feb from 6pm | Nightjar, 129 City Road, EC1V 1JB
Visit Kew’s orchid conservatories
This year, they’re exploring Thailand’s extraordinary flowerey heritage
Details: From 10th Feb-11th March | Kew Gardens, TW9 3AB | £16
Go on a champagne crawl
Don’t visit the one with the ‘push for champagne’ button last.
Take a cruise with London Shell Co., eat all the seafood
London’s canals are your oyster…and so’s your dinner.
Details: 13th-18th Feb (lunch & dinner) | Camden Lock | From £45
Watch Pretty Woman at the Rivoli
Remember your ticket just gets your seat for the movie, not ‘the entire night’.
Details: 14th Feb, from 8pm | Rivoli Ballroom, 350 Brockley Road, SE4 2BY | From £13
Buy whatever catches your eye at Borough Market, make dinner together
Ginger Pig are selling their Valentine’s Wellingtons (decorated with hearts) again this year.
Make Passiontail cocktails at Christabel’s
They’re also serving ‘passionapes’ (which are particularly passionate canapés)
Details: 14th February | Secret Location in Notting Hill | £50
Go on a scavenger hunt round The V&A
They text you clues, you have fun.
Listen to filthy romantic stories…
From smut-peddlers like Chaucer and Boccaccio.
Details: 11 Feb | The Last Tuesday Society, 11 Mare Street, E8 4RP | £5-£10
Sneak around at Gatsby’s Valentine’s Special
There WILL be flapper girls.
Details: 14th Feb | The Vaults, Leake Street, SE1 7NN | From £45
Drink Aphrodisiac Cocktails
And stitch some nipple tassels while you’re at it.
Details: 14th Feb | Super Lyan, 155 Hoxton Street, N1 6PJ | Reserve HERE
Step back in time together
…by stepping out at the swinging Candlelight Club.
Details: 10th Feb | A Secret Location | From £25
Go to a candleit concert at St Martin’s in the Field
The fact that it’s called St Martin’s ‘in the Field’ should give you an indication as to how old it is.
Play play roulette at VAULT Festival
Or just book in immediately for the one that involves you doing shots of rum with pirates
Book a sofa, get tucked up at the Electric
Try to keep it PG.
Get a drink at the top of the Gherkin
While watching the sun go down…
Watch an all-female Bruce Springsteen cover band
The new Boss is not like the old Boss
Details: 16th Feb | The Clapham Grand, 21-25 St John’s Hill, SW11 1TT | £12.50
Hit the Theatre
Do a little play acting of your own later…
Drink hot gin cocktails on a rooftop
There are very few things as romantic as a hot poker
Check out a latenight piano recital
It’ll hit all the right notes
Details: 14th Feb | St. James’s Church, 197 Piccadilly, W1J 9LL | £25
Go to a DIY porn workshop
Apparently, it’s a little more than dick pics
Details: 14th Feb | The Book Club, 100 Leonard Street, EC2A 4RH | £12
Fall in love with a stranger
No, seriously. This is an experiment based on actual science. And not just because it’s at a bar
Details: 14th Feb | 2-4 Hoxton Square, N1 6NU | Free
Eat a cheese wheel at KERB’s Lady & The Tramp evening
Just remember, the romance is between you and your partner, not you and the cheese wheel
Details: 14th & 15th Feb | KERB Counter, 45 Middle Yard, Camden Lock Place, NW1 8AF | £66 for two
Check out the Bond-style cabaret Love Never Dies
The name’s evening. Romantic evening.
Details: 14th Feb | Bloomsbury Ballroom, WC1B 4DA | £95-£255
Watch adventure films. Underground.
After drinking cocktails on a rooftop, of course
Details: 15th Feb | Brunel Museum, SE16 4LF | £25
See standup comedy at V-Day Loves Company
Is there actually anything funny about romance? Find out here.
Details: 14th Feb | Loves Company, 104 City Road, EC1V 2NR | £5
See Romeo + Juliet…
At The Exhibit, with a three course meal & bubbles – takes place on the 14th & 15th, for £39.50
Or at The Grand, with a mass dance-off, unlimited popcorn, and more – takes place on the 10th, for £7-£35
Eat cocktails at Bourne & Hollingsworth
Yes, eat. Not a typo.
Details: 14th Feb | B&H Buildings, 42 42 Northampton Road, EC1R 0HU | £45
Visit The Enchanted Terrace
Shocker: it’s enchanting
Main image credit: Winterland / Keaton Chau
STILL need inspiration? Well we’ve put together 100 date ideas right here, you perfectionist, you…